engagement plans

My closest friends from high school share a document amongst themselves detailing the ways in which they would like to be proposed to by the person they love. They recently added me to it. The intention is to have us, the appointed friends, tell the boyfriend who is set to propose the correct way to perform the spectacle. The document is oozing with detailed ring photos and preferred company on the day he asks. I am single and do not plan on getting married, so here is my contribution to that document:

Ummmmm, I really can’t picture myself ever getting engaged. I am trying to picture it, some sort of ideal scenario, and I can’t! I truly don’t believe in marriage like that, but I understand why people do. I would marry someone if different citizenships mandated, but that is truly the only situation I can imagine… But if I fall in love with someone and it’s like, hey, we are going to be in love and together for a while. Maybe a decade, maybe longer (’till death do us part??). In which case, this will happen: I and the person I love will rent a Tuscan villa, a short train ride away from Florence and Bologna. We will invite all of our closest friends (family intermixed will get too complicated, close siblings are the exception) and spend a week, hopefully, more, frolicking in the Italian countryside. The sun will stay out until 9pm, flowers will have bloomed, and everyone will be content. Delicious food will be eaten, countless bottles of wine will be drunk, and laughs will be shared. We will visit the farmer’s market down the road, take bike rides to vineyards nearby, and walk trails that lead to views of purple mountains at dawn. Conversation will consist of the perfect balance between lighthearted and vulnerable. It is my biggest dream and the best way to spend time I could possibly imagine.

Here’s the thing: It is an international trip (unless you are living in Italy), but all you have to pay for are your travel costs (flight and train ride). All expenses while at the villa will be covered by me and this imaginary person whom I love. You will have advanced notice to request time off with your employer and buy a cheap-enough flight. So, there are no excuses not to attend!

Xoxo,

Disillusioned by marriage but still loves love